THE ANTI-TARANTINO PAGE
 Just to prove that there's no hard feelings, I decided to aid my detractors in trashing my latest video release by writing an article for them. I made sure to be as rabid and close-minded as possible, not allowing little things like "facts" stand in the way of witty journalism.



 Pamphlet Publisher Treads Water

I thought things couldn't get any worse when I read a few newspaper stories about Mike White and his copyright-infringing WHO DO YOU THINK YOUR FOOLING. That was until I found out that this east coast film student actually publishes his own "'zine," a primitive and cheap home-made publication. I'm sure that only White's close friends and relatives are on his mailing list but the fact that anyone has to listen to his over-opinionated and self-aggrandizing drivel is truly disturbing.

White's been spending the past two years trying to get as much as he can out of his brief "fame" with his anti-Quentin Tarantino video which claims that the Oscar-winning writer/director paid homage to Ringo Lam's CITY ON FIRE. White tried to pass this off as plagiarism while it is common knowledge that Tarantino had always acknowledged Lam's film as an influence even though the similarities are slight and of no great importance.

But what is even more sad is that White, who I'd wager has never had an original idea, is not content to try and ride Tarantino's coat-tails just once. He's at it again; announcing that he has made another creatively bankrupt video which focuses on Tarantino's critically acclaimed PULP FICTION.

The "sequel" appears to be a preview but when White's fleeting underground status appears to be in jeopardy again I expect him to make a full-length feature out of YOUR STILL NOT FOOLING ANYONE. As it stands, ANYONE begins with an Mtv News report about White's first video being pulled from the New York Underground Film Festival. By this, White attempts to establish how important he is by “making it” to Mtv where he undoubtedly felt at home among intellectual icons like Beavis and Butthead!

Then, the viewer is subjected to clips from PULP FICTION shown side-by-side with other films which we are supposed to assume Quentin Tarantino “plagiarized.” Three of the clips are less than ten seconds long and merely contain an incidental line of dialogue or slight visual similarity. What the dim-witted White apparently doesn’t realize is that Tarantino's fondness for each of these films is common knowledge.

In one of the other clips, White tries to show that the heart-stopping Adrenaline Needle scene was actually from a Martin Scorcese documentary, THE ALL-AMERICAN BOY, because one of the people in the Scorcese film mentioned giving an adrenaline shot to a fellow junkie.

White continues to grasp at nothing with the final comparison, claiming that Tarantino took Samuel J. Jackson’s Ezekial 25:17 speech from another movie. Perhaps White has never heard of a book that's been on the best seller list in Western Civilization for the past two thousand years - it's called THE BIBLE!!!

YOUR STILL NOT FOOLING ANYBODY is a pathetic attempt at gaining notoriety by slamming a noted figure. If only White realized that he's not telling anyone anything we didn't already know no matter how inflammatory the method of presentation. His jealous vendetta against one of the world's foremost filmmakers is pitiful and his thirst for undeserved attention is remarkable.

DISCLAIMER: Sic Sic Sic! The preceding article was a parody inspired
by Christopher B. Goldsmith, David E. Williams, and Manohla Dargis.
It is not meant to be taken seriously.